The ‘Royal WE’
It is easy to fall into a routine when we are comfortable in a relationship. I think that is part of the ‘beauty’ of a long term relationship. We already know what to expect, how the chores are divided up, who is in charge of the garbage and who takes care of the laundry. But, after a while, resentment can set in. Someone else can be perceived to have a ‘better deal’ or your work schedule no longer coordinates with the laundry or garbage pickup.
Before you start throwing punches, go back to the first step: Why did you get together in the first place? I’m sure it has something to do with wanting to be together, sharing and building a life together. The unity of ‘we’ has been transformed to separate ‘you’ and ‘I’. We could blame our sub-conscious to accuse the other person for our trauma or step into self-righteousness.
Situations like these:
- “It is your turn to take out the garbage.”
- “I’m busy tonight. I have to shop for groceries.”
- “I’ll do it. I’m already going downtown.”
- “Why did you buy this bug spray? You know it is poison!”
If we adapt our vocabulary just a bit, we can still maintain control in a harmonious way, without blame or disrespect. Turn the issue into a statement rather than an accusation or a dictatorship. Try using the ‘Royal WE’ in these situations to diffuse the issues.
- “We need to get the garbage out this evening.”
- “We are both busy tonight, but we still need to shop for groceries.”
- “We need to look after this issue tomorrow. I’ll do it. I’ll be downtown in the morning.”
- “Oh dear, we bought the wrong bug spray. This one is poisonous.”
Change these words to re-work one of your own scenarios. You’ll find that altering your vocabulary to include the ‘Royal WE’ can go a long way. It will remind you about your commitment to the team, each other and the wonderful future ahead. For me personally, I found this technique taught me a lot about patience when dealing with both my husband and children. It is a great way to be more diplomatic, rather than critical.
Do you need to find the peace during a hectic day? The ‘Royal WE’ is a a great peace keeper too!
Have a Feng Shui Day!
Kathryn
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